a mother's day story
Mother’s Day is May 11, but this tale has meaning regardless of the date.
One Sunday every May, sons and daughters, no matter what their age, turn the household hierarchy upside-down and attempt to reciprocate everything Mom has done for them by showering her with gifts and treating her to her favorite restaurant. Those 24 hours are not much compared to the other 364 days, when Moms are seemingly superhuman, juggling children, relationships, careers, and other aspects of everyday life. But mothers are indeed human, and now, as an adult child, are you prepared to take care of mom when she can no longer care for herself?
“It shook me to the core when a stroke left my mom so helpless and vulnerable,” reveals Louise Lewis, author of No Experts Needed: The Meaning of Life According to You! “She was never sick a day in her life. But now she needed me, and the roles were reversed. The reality of the natural progression of life set in.”
Preparation was the key, according to Lewis. “At some point, you’ve got to stop living in denial of the fact that you’ll eventually assume the role of Mother to your mother.” That’s not a lesson Lewis read about from an expert, but one learned through her own life experience. She also suggests getting on the same page with siblings to help minimize any potential stress in assisting a sick parent. “If you’re lucky enough to have brothers or sisters who can share the responsibility, then gather the troops and decide who will assume what aspect of Mom’s care.”
Lewis says it is important to have a heart-to-heart discussion with your mom before a sickness occurs, and it is vital to continue this dialogue during the recovery stage. She realized early on that the parent/child role-reversal was uncomfortable for her mother, but once this communication was out of the way she could turn the focus to truly enjoying the time she had left with her mother.
It was preparing for those final years of her life that was most satisfying for both of them, Lewis says. “Imagine the sense of accomplishment for a mother when she realizes she’s raised a child who’s caring enough to put family first and return the favor. Then, as the ’child caregiver,’ you get a rewarding feeling for taking on the responsibility of caring for a parent.”
Lewis believes this life situation is the perfect opportunity for children to genuinely show Mom how much all of her sacrifices are truly appreciated. She concludes by asking, “You know that great feeling you get on Mother’s Day when you see your mom enjoy everything you’ve done for her? If you prepare now – before something bad happens -- you are free to create that joy in your relationship everyday…for the rest of her life.”
Louise Lewis was born and raised in Louisiana. She now lives in Southern California and volunteers at Children’s Hospital of Orange County. Her book, No Experts Needed: The Meaning of Life According to You! is available online at www.NoExpertsNeeded.com.
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